How can you tell if your relationship or marriage is experiencing more than just a rough patch? We talked to relationship expert and author Dr. There are things you can do right now to save your relationship. Read about what every couple should try before giving up. Studies show this one simple thing can make your relationships last.
For most of us slowing down means plopping on the couch or zoning out to the TV the minute our chaotic to-do list is done. No matter how hectic our schedule, there are ways to take pause within our own minds and reconnect with ourselves throughout the day. In these times of reconnection, we are not only more in touch with ourselves, but we are better able to recognize and be attuned to our partner.
We are more mindful of our actions toward them. We are also more aware of our feelings of desire and attraction. When we are more present, we can make an effort to really connect, communicate and make eye contact.
Again, this may feel like a no-brainer, but in truth, looking each other in the eye is one of the things we forget to do on a daily basis. Just looking at our partner and really seeing him or her as a whole person, separate from ourselves, can further rekindle our empathy, interest and attraction. Try something old — As a relationship advances, it becomes all too easy to make excuses not to make time for each other.
When we do get together, we may do things out of a sense of form or obligation. Relationships tend to start fizzling out when we stop sharing the lively things we used to share with our partner. Moreover, once things start to fizzle out, we become even less inclined to share these activities. We can challenge this by making a commitment to take part in activities we and our partner used to share and enjoy together.
Participating in activities that light us up or that light our partner up helps us stay close with our partner, while feeling the most ourselves.
When we fall in love, we are in a state in which we feel the most open and alive. As our relationship progresses, and the more we replace real love with a fantasy bond, the more we tend to resist anything new. Especially as we get older, we can become more self-protective or further drawn to routine. We can keep love alive by continuing to be game to try new things. The more adventures we can create with each other in our day-to-day lives, the more awake we will feel to everything we experience, particularly intimacy and closeness.
What drew me to this person to begin with? What qualities did they possess that I found valuable? What made them so amazing? And are they still?
7 Ways to Save a Struggling Relationship | HuffPost Life
Reevaluating the reasons you came together reminds you of the reasons to stay together, and this strengthens your already-existing foundation. Ask your partner what they love and don't love about you; be open to constructive criticism and self-improvement. There is a right way and a wrong way to communicate.
The right way is asking your partner a relevant question, listening to their response, then offering your opinion. The wrong way is overwhelming your partner with your irritations and worries as soon as they walk in from a particularly long workday. Practice effective speech by engaging your loved one in a conversation of their interest. Ask questions that matter to them; people open up when you inquire about their day, an important project, their feelings, etc.This Could Save Your Relationship
Once you've listened to what they have to say, offer your side of the story. Stay away from heavy conversations in stressful times, and especially in the heat of emotion. Calm down, then approach the topic again. Don't just sound off with your concerns; delve to the core of the matter by drawing your partner into the dialogue first. Do something special together. Perhaps you two have a favorite restaurant you haven't visited in ages, or you can return to the place where you first fell in love?
Being in a physical space where you have powerful memories of strong attachment can reignite passion. Or, you can try something you've never tried before.
7 Ways to Save a Struggling Relationship
The excitement of something new produces serotonin and dopamine in our brains. It doesn't have to be something extraordinary; even sitting on a park bench watching the children play as you hold hands can be magical if love exists.
The important thing is that you stop talking about taking that vacation, or trying that new spot, and follow through on your intention to reconnect together. Cut out external influences. Often it is outside voices that seep into our private relationships and brew toxicity. Understand who's playing a less-than-positive role in your relationship and commit to keeping that person's energy out!
Keep your relationship as private as possible and divulge as little details as you can. Don't automatically admit your love woes to others. Chances are they don't hold the answers to your problems. Open up the gateways of communication instead and confess your concerns to your partner.
To forgive is to detach -- from the bitterness, anger, and animosity holding you back from progress with your partner. Forgo the negative emotions keeping you from true forgiveness. Be mindful that forgiveness is a process, not a result, so perform small, daily acts that are reflective of your intent to pardon.
Come clean about one thing. We all hold a few secrets that would deeply hurt others if they found out. Certain things should simply be kept to ourselves.
Expert advice on ways to save your relationship — and how to know if it's beyond repair
But honesty can trigger wonders in your partner's opinion of you. Admitting one secret or mistake to your partner may make them want to open up, too.
Set boundaries with each other.
And keep your word! If you set a rule for your partner, set a similar one for yourself as well.