13 Questions To Ask Before You DTR - MTV
A long-distance relationship (LDR) (or long-distance romantic relationship ( LDRR) is an intimate relationship between partners who are geographically. In many many cases people can be far too simple minded or immature to benefit from a long distance relationship. If some one is more interested in intimate. Dating in is hella ambiguous. Our generation has done a great job of throwing most hard and fast dating rules out the window.
I thought we were dating, he thought we were friends. He thought we were soul mates, I thought we were homework buddies. You know, those kind of things. I could have asked. I could have set boundaries. I could have clarified. I could have distanced myself.
Long-distance relationship - Wikipedia
Looking back, in moments of ambiguity and confusion, we should always assume that the responsibility falls on US, because we are in charge of protecting our hearts. Different people need different things. Even my husband and I were very different with regard to our view of the DTR, because our past experiences, personality types, and relationship styles all add up to determine what each of us needed in a relationship, DTRs and all.
For someone like me, words were foundational. My relationship history consisted of ambiguity that needed clarification. Words were the path that helped my heart safely get to the next stage.
For me, a DTR meant this: I needed words to back up actions. Commitment to back up the communiction.
Is It Time to “Define the Relationship”?
Definition to help me know where we were headed. But even so, when it came time for the DTR because I needed to have it he willingly communicated words that backed up his commitment. And then, we moved forward together…actually, never looking back again.
You might not care, but your partner might -- and more importantly, they can tell. No one wants to DTR when they feel like it's about another relationship. When was their last relationship? If you push for them to DTR before they're ready, you'll seem like you care more about a commitment than where they're coming from.
That lack of consideration would be a turnoff for anyone. Are you willing to wait for them? There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship and making that clear, but if the other person has said they're not ready to DTR, that's the end of the discussion. If you're willing to wait, set your own boundaries about for how long.
If your willingness to continue on without a label is open-ended, maybe question why you're gunning for a definition in the first place. How do you feel when you spend time apart? Communication when you're not face-to-face is crucial in considering whether having the talk is worth it. If they're a ghost when they're not in front of you, then what you have is already defined, even if it's not set in stone. If you're thinking about each other and communicating that when you're apart, there's exciting potential for DTR.
Do we live in the same city? Long-distance relationships can be romanticized by the bond you build just through talking. Think about how practical a real day-to-day relationship would be before you broach the subject.
Do you work together? Workplace romances often occur as frequently as they're discouraged. Like DTR with friends, it's a delicate discussion with coworkers.
Yes, You CAN Ace the 'Defining the Relationship' Talk - The Good Men Project
Carefully consider what you want and what the cost-benefit analysis is of continuing things, with and without a definition. Then you can talk about it with respect Am you OK with being alone? If you're jumping from one relationship to the next, consider going it alone for a bit before you get into yet another DTR discussion. It will give you perspective and break up the serial monogamy.
Have you seen them at their worst? Falling hard for someone is dangerous when you haven't seen what you're going to land on.