How to handle jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

7 Strategies on Dealing with Jealousy in Intimate Relationships | HuffPost

how to handle jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

Being insecure in relationship is an obsession. Nip it in the bud before it becomes a monster. Read here to know how to overcome jealousy in a. A hint of jealously here and there in a relationship might be no big deal, but what or perhaps insecurities you feel when comparing yourself to others. If you've been overcome with jealousy lately, it might be time to have an. Below, you'll find general tips for dealing with jealousy, along with “If you are in an insecure relationship, expect to have your jealousy.

The common evolutionary explanation for jealousy is that men fear sexual infidelity as they want to be absolutely certain that their offspring is actually theirs. Women, are more concerned with emotional infidelity, because they are concerned with their children's survival and want to make sure that their partner supports their children, provide and protect them. Today more than ever before, people are afraid of being rejected, not accepted, not being loved and worry about losing people they care for.

These feelings of loss are natural. Yet, again, when thought and feelings of jealousy are extreme, they stem partially as a result of insecurities. When fear lessens, so does jealousy. If you experience jealousy very frequently, here are some strategies that will help you out: The feeling of jealousy or any other feelings is not the problem, the real trouble starts when you start acting on that jealousy and let it consume you.

how to handle jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

You can feel the feeling, but do not have to act on it. That world contains people of gender that they sexually prefer but that does not mean that they will cheat on you with them. There is a reason why they are in an intimate relationship with you. If they wanted to date other people, they would have done so. So, the next time you feel jealous, accept the feelings, yet change the way you think about the situation and be reasonable and wise.

Calm Down and Stay Vulnerable To love is to be vulnerable. Yes, it is not easy, but you need to be willing to accept what is beyond your control and trust yourself to deal with the unknown. Remember, you are in the relationship, because you decide to love. It is a choice you make to love your partner and at the same time accept the risks without any qualms or jealousy.

Express Your Jealousy in A Soft Way If you feel that your partner is doing something that is making you jealous, you can express how you feel and talk to them in a mature way. You can also communicate it with humor, diplomacy or directly as long as it is respectful.

Jealous? How to Take Back Control…

If you are humorous, you can joke about how insanely jealous you are when your partner pays attention to someone else. Laugh with them as you say this, because it will take the pressure off the topic and will get the message across. When you are diplomatic, you can let them know that you love them a lot and know that they will never cheat on you.

8 Healthy Ways to Deal with Jealousy

And if you are direct, just tell them that you trust them, yet cannot control your feelings and want them to consider how you feel. Appreciate Yourself One of the main reasons why people get jealous is that they have low self-esteem and insecurity issues. So why might a person be jealous?

Kevin's ex-wife had cheated on him and he felt he'd never got over this. We're told it's great to have 'a good imagination', but he was using his to torment himself. Of course, if your partner is continually sexually active with other people, then jealousy is totally justified. And perhaps the whole relationship needs to be re-evaluated. But here I want to focus on helping you if you feel unduly jealous that's to say, there is no real or proper evidence that your partner is or has been unfaithful to you.

These tips also focus on sexual jealousy rather than, say, being jealous of the amount of time your partner spends with their mother or kids. So how can we start to break the jealousy cycle, reclaim self-control, and stop driving our partners and ourselves crazy?

Yes, take them at their word. If they do lie to you, then they are not making a fool out of anyone but themselves - remember that. It's been said that trust is the cornerstone of any relationship.

how to handle jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

It's very insulting for your partner to have you always doubting their word or decency of behaviour. Constant questioning by you can even be as destructive as having an affair in the long run.

8 Healthy Ways to Deal with Jealousy

You'll still distrust your partner for a while out of sheer habitbut find the strength to start acting as if you believe them. If you've been checking that they really were where they said they've been, then stop doing that. When they tell you they love you, believe them. Save 2 Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others Some not all jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. I don't understand how someone like them could be attracted to someone like me!

Does the Mona Lisa painting know why it is so valuable? Of course, you may be able to appreciate attractive qualities in yourself, but consider this: There are better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a 'product'.

If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have that they couldn't even explain - some deep part of your humanity they connected to which transcends looks, youth, wealth, and so forth. Some of the most loved people in history have been well down the list when it comes to looks or wealth.

Stop trying to 'work out' why they can possibly like you. People with quite high self-esteem can experience intense jealousy if they tend to feel they themselves must always be the centre of things. People like this tend to look at other people as material property. And maybe they just don't want to share that 'property', even as far as letting their partner innocently smile or socialize with another person.

Perhaps as a kid they were a little spoilt. But people are not objects or toys to be constantly guarded.

7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

To love someone properly, we need to be prepared to lose them. Sounds like it, you might think and I do have my momentsbut hear me out. Anger, fear, and jealousy drive out love; and love needs a strong dash of fearlessness to flourish. Okay, so you fear losing your loved one to someone else and possibly fear how this will make you feel about yourself.

If you must keep using your imagination, use it to imagine the 'worst' happening and you still being okay; not just surviving, but thriving in this imagined scenario. Fantasize about how well you'd react, how whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Write down 10 positive ways you'd like to respond and how you'd build your life up even better if this relationship were to end. Fear is much greater when we feel that 'all our eggs are in one basket'.

Don't build your whole life around any one person. But don't leave this list lying around to be found by your partner, as this may start them feeling insecure.

People sometimes try to make themselves feel better by trying to get their partner jealous. Flirting with other men or women all the time in front of your partner; constantly saying how attractive, fun, and witty someone you work with is; and going out of your way to talk about past lovers just demeans you and won't make either of you feel better in the long run. This isn't to say you have to pretend that no other attractive people exist in the world, but you can acknowledge this without using it as relationship ammunition.

If your partner is ever unfaithful to you, that is a reflection of them, not you; and if this were to occur, it's better that they don't have the 'ammo' to turn around and say: Because you were always flirting outrageously with the auto repair man girl who works in the bar The imagination is great Stephen King has a stellar career from making stuff up and writing about it.

  • 7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships
  • 7 Strategies on Dealing with Jealousy in Intimate Relationships

But he distances himself thankfully for him! He doesn't believe everything he writes is real just because he imagined it. Right now, I can imagine an alien invasion headed right towards Earth.