6 ways to take things slow in a relationship without stringing someone along - HelloGiggles
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Now a month into our relationship, and starting to talk about him coming out to Sydney for a visit, the subject of exclusivity came up naturally. During a phone conversation in the quietest spot of a noisy Portland bar I could find, the words "I'm feeling a little faithful" effortlessly escaped my lips.
He said he was glad I said that, as he was feeling the same way. Plus, there was no point in us planning a trip two months ahead if we were going to date other people in that time. So, now we're in the midst of two months of communication and anticipation, which will be totally worth it for the 10 days or so we'll spend together -- him seeing Australia for the first time, me sharing my homeland with him and us hanging out and getting to know each other better.
After that, we'll reassess what's happening with our relationette. How mature of us, right? But, frankly, it scares me a little. I'm not usually the maturity kind of girl. I'm the wild abandon kind of girl. I tend to hit it off with someone big-time fairly early on -- or not at all. When I fall rarely, but when I doI fall fast, I fall hard, and I will do absolutely anything for even a whisper of time with that person -- such is the absolute certainty of my feelings.
I've never fallen in love slowly. I've tried, but it's never worked out.
As a result, I tend to stay tuned for the unmistakable sting of cupid's arrow in my butt as a sign someone might be 'The One. With a touch of envy, I recently watched a romance between two young, ridiculously good-looking people play out online.
A sweet and handsome contestant on one of the American seasons of The Bachelorette was contacted by a sweet and drop-dead gorgeous Australian girl from Perth as his season aired in Australia about six months after it aired in the U. Long story short, she felt a connection with him, she reached out to him online via Twitter, I think after she saw he was rejected by The Bachelorette, he probably thought he was being catfished because she's so mind-blowingly stunning, they jumped on Skype and started falling for each other, he hopped on a flight to Perth to see her, they fell in love, he hopped on a flight back to the U.
Three months later, he's still there. End of story, right? Well, I checked in with them recently and, to my surprise, there seemed to be trouble in paradise.
And in light of my new "slow but steady" approach to love, I felt a little smug. There's no better feeling. But, sadly, it's often unsustainable. When it comes to relationships, can love grow? Or does true love begin with a relatively instant spark? Basically, when I want something, I go for it.
And yet, I've also learned that, in dating, slow and steady wins the race.
When it came to dating, I was always someone who preferred to jump two feet in before testing the water. I figured that if I liked someone, it must be a good idea to see him seven nights a week, right? And if he learned all my little idiosyncrasies early on, it would be endearing, wouldn't it? I was a full-fledged jumper. And where did it leave me? Often having what should have been a year-long relationship—meeting, the honeymoon phase, our first fight, and breaking up—all within the span of a month or two.
Slow And Steady Quotes (9 quotes)
When you like someone who likes you back, the anticipation of seeing each other again is often the best part of a new relationship. The beginning of a relationship is exciting, and the temptation to jump in is going to be there. Remember, though, that if this person is going to be around for a while, it's not necessary to hit the accelerator when you can simply cruise at a steady speed until you're ready to take it to the next level.
There is no hard and fast rule, of course, but seeing someone once or twice a week for the first month of a new relationship is a healthy choice. This way, you'll have the anticipation and excitement of the next date, and you'll have enough to talk about since you didn't just see each other the night before!
Use this time to get to know each other's hobbies, things that make each of you tick, life ambitions, etc.