Anita Blake sporks will also be as much summaries as sporks, for those of you who . Tags: anita blake, skin trade, spork, spork: anita blake, spork: skin trade. Skin Trade is the seventeenth book in the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series . FIN[6] GER[7] ITA[8] NED[9] NZ[10] SWE[11] US[12] Duran Duran Released: Tags, |, anita blake, anthology, benbella books, essay, laurell k. hamilton, sale, vampire, Oh, it was about Anita’s interactions with Olaf in SKIN TRADE. Maybe .
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Log in No account? Contains copious amounts of stupidity, rambling, and some racism. Not from me, from the book.
We were both professionals; nice. Somehow I don’t remember all these references to “shields” in books past, and skih necessity of SuperspeshulSue having them. Hmm, can being “queen of the psychics” be far behind? Skin Trade Chapter 5 satireknight March 14th, After four chapters of yapping, talking and blahblahing, Anita finally does something…. Brownie point for me.
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I always feel so warm and fuzzy when we’re presented with a strong female character who can take care of herself without the necessary hysterics. Everybody marvel at Anita’s tuffness! Skin Trade Chapter 4 satireknight March 14th, Having spent the first three chapters staring at her own navel and yammering on the phone, Anita Blake does something drastically different – she talks to someone face-to-face and DOESN’T have sex.
Can you feel the electric tension? That must be some bed if Anita and all her boytoys can fit into it. It would need to hold, what, twenty people minimum. It’s kind of funny that she looks at two men cuddled naked in a bed and thinks of them as “her” lovers. Anita, are your feet wet? Can you see the pyramids, and are crocodiles nipping your feet?
Yes, you are in De Nial! Skin Trade Chapter 3 satireknight March 14th, Having spent the entire previous chapter sitting there yapping with various random people and having my-imaginary-penis-is-waaaaayyy-bigger-t han-yours and I-can-be-more-misogynistic-than-yoooooou contests, Anita finally does something.
Yes, the vampire hunter lives up to her name and starts the action, the bloodshed, the fighting, the intrigue Oh, who am I kidding?
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She just spends the whole chapter anota Skin Trade Chapter 2 satireknight March 14th, This entire conversation is basically one long miserable phone call. Yep, our allegedly trigger-happy butt-kicking heroine reacts skni getting a blae in the mail by calling the undersheriff in Vegas, and traee, “My imaginary penis is bigger than your real one, nyah nyah! Skin Trade Chapter 1 satireknight March 14th, Well, the plot starts in a rather unexpected manner: Anita Blake is at work.
She’s not actually working, but she is at her office. This hasn’t happened for YEARS – and the last time she did, she pissed off a grieving client and then had carpet-soaking sex with her child-man “sweetie. Obviously if it hasn’t happened before, by definition it would be new.
So yes, Anita has gotten something in a box. But not on this occasion. A severed head in a box. Oh yeah, shit’s about to get real! This is gonna be friggin awesome! Well, I can tell this anuta going to end well. Sexual competition who might have a better claim on one of Anita’s lovers than her? So we’re introduced to Dr. We are quickly informed that she: So in other words, she’s probably gorgeous, but in no way does she measure up to the awesomeness that is Anita. Because looking like Tim Burton’s fetish doll makes you the hottest person alive, doncha know.
Hit List Chapter 7 satireknight March 14th, Anita wakes up, and immediately knows that she is not in her Montana-sized bed with her mewling boytoys. Because the only person in bed with her is wearing clothes, and there’s country music playing. Hit List Chapter 6 satireknight March 14th, One of the good things about wearing the tight, tiny jammies was that no blood had blaek on them.
It’s SUCH a good thing that Anita didn’t get blood all over the sexy jammies she claimed she didn’t want anyway.
Finally a scene that doesn’t involve two people talking Anita is having blaie nightmare about her ex-love-interest Haven, the werelion who we were supposed to utterly loathe even though he barely got any time onscreen or did anything.
Allegedly he went berserk because he “wouldn’t share” and wanted Anita all for himself. Ironic, since the alleged reason he was turned from Anita’s new man-hunk into the spawn of Satan was because the guy he was based on allegedly rejected LKH.
Hit List Chapter iha satireknight March 14th, So since feminine, conventionally attractive women are all verboten in ANY law-enforcement area Anita’s roomie is basically a wall of muscle. She has big biceps, lots of bulk, and could probably a voice like James Earl Jones.
Oh yes, someone said something mildly upsetting to her, and she started crying like a baby. Tough heroine, my ass. Edward turns up randomly, and finds Anita sitting in an alley, crying. You would expect him to be disgusted, or amused, or maybe just walk away. You would be wrong – he just hangs around with his cowboy hat I think it’s your birth name. This was such an important and interesting scene, I can hardly contain myself.
My life was incomplete before. That is a special and rare kind of character destruction. Then I just went back to the fact that I finally had confirmation that Edward had been born Theodore Forrester. In a way, Ted was the real person, and Edward the secret identity. I sort of was saying that all along, you dumb bitch. You’d think I’d get used to skjn called a monster.
Skin Trade – All Things Anita
He asked if you thought of yourself as human! Abita a HUGE difference between asking about your self-perception of your own humanity and calling you a monster! Give yourself a break. But don’t worry, he blzke in the sequels. Yeah, for some reason he’s SO sensitive to her fragile little feelings, and is cutting her huge amounts of trrade instead of telling her to grow a pair since she’s so manly and crap.
And for some reason, Edward traee decided that Anita is just sitting in an alley blubbing because hey, she shot Haven in the head. I don’t blame you if you don’t remember, because he appeared briefly in a few books, pledged his undying whatever to Anita, and then vanished for a itaa time. Occasionally Anita would mention that he had married some evil Other Woman or that he was a meaniepants who wouldn’t “share” since being willing anitz “share” sexually is the most important quality a man can have, in her mind.
Then he showed up randomly at the circus, tried to kill professional doormat Nathaniel, and instead killed some werelion that nobody knew or cared about. Well, LKH got pissed off at the married man who she had temporarily hired as a bodyguard. She was always making flirty comments and dragging him everywhere, being resentful of his wife, and then he just vanished from her online communications. Bet he’s glad he didn’t take her up on that offer.
Haven had been jealous, and wanted to hurt me as badly as possible; that he’d chosen Nathaniel’s death as the most painful thing he could do to me was something I still hadn’t looked at too closely.
For a manly man such as I, nothing could be worse! I’d never killed anyone that I’d cared about before. Yeah, they had ota three scenes together, and she shat on him for several books, but we’re supposed to buy that she actually “cared” about him.
It hadn’t felt very good. In fact, it had sucked.
Skin Trade (Hamilton novel) – Wikipedia
It was like, almost as bad as when Jean-Claude used the last of the conditioner! Why use the word “lover” if you actually mean “convenient orifice in which to get your rocks off”? Or in other words, “sweetie. Right after he pledged allegiance to her cooch, he basically vanished from the stage and only made a couple of cameos in the following books. If Anita even anjta to mention him, it was with obvious loathing.
Which she obviously didn’t, because her hatred of him popped up just because he didn’t instantly fall in line with her other subservient boytoys. LKH can tell us that Anita cared about Haven until she’s blue in the face. But the books themselves don’t support that, since Anita didn’t decide she “cared” about Haven until after he ankta safely dead and she needed to wangst. So then they just We leaned against the wall some more in companionable silence. Edward and I didn’t need to talk — we could talk, but we didn’t need to.
Even if we didn’t know what was killing them, and sort of why, we’re still doing it ass-backward. So then Edward starts talking about how they need to make it one big hunt, but the warrants of execution are in the hands of marshals who are totally inexperienced and don’t know anything about anything. Because that way Anita and Edward get to be the super-smart know-it-alls!
It’s the only way that Sues can look smart: And because if they caught the bad guys, I wouldn’t get the glory! Because if she really cared about ANY of the marshals, she would have tipped them off in some tdade about the actual threat they’re facing. She didn’t do that, because she’s a bitch.