10 Things You Should Never Do In A Relationship - MTL Blog
10 Things You Should Never Do In A Relationship featured image . Don't get me wrong, if they deserve the cold shoulder by all means, prove your point but at . 3 days ago Relationships can be tough, but there are some simple things to do in your Wrong. Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to. If both people in the relationship do this it devolves into what I call “the . There's nothing wrong with doing nice things for a significant other.
Jealousy is the core of all-evil. When you act possessive with your other half, they feel it. They are not your property, and you shouldn't want them to be. Jealousy usually comes from deep insecurities the person has that goes far beyond who they're dating or what they're jealous about.
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If he's showing signs now, it's a red flag for the future. Expect things from your partner. We all know, as cliche as it sounds, "expect nothing and you will never get disappointed". I believe it's even more accurate in relationships.
The only expectation you should have, is to love and be loved. It's unhealthy and immature.Why Good Relationships Turn Bad
They don't make us feel better or make the problem go away, and should be avoided at all times. A healthy relationship doesn't hold grudges. Try to change who they are. Either accept them or leave.
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So you just have to accept them or keep walking. Desensitize yourself to them. After a long time being with someone, this can easily happen. You take shots below the belt during minor arguments. Your sensitivity for them and their feelings dissipates. And that will never work well in a relationship. Bring up the past. This is a major NO-NO in an argument. In a relationship, you should only be focusing on the present. No matter how brutal a fight might get, you should never bring up an event from the past.
You have to leave it behind. If your boyfriend cheated on you, if your girlfriend did something fucked up that hurt you at one point, you have absolutely no right to bring it up again and use it as ammunition. You have to leave the past where it belongs. If you forgive them for something and you both decide to move on, that means no bringing it back up, no matter how well it might work in your favor at the moment.
Another thing similar to bringing up the past is holding grudges against each other. Someone in a couple might feel justified to do something immoral just because their boyfriend did something similar before. There is no such thing as keeping score in a relationship. You cannot base your actions and decisions on past occurrences.
Some jealousy is natural. But excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you. Because otherwise, you are only going to eventually push that person away. Any time a major conflict or issue comes up in the relationship, instead of solving it, one covers it up with the excitement and good feelings that come with buying something nice or going on a trip somewhere.
My parents were experts at this one. And it got them real far: They have both since independently told me that this was the primary problem in their marriage: Not only does it brush the real problem under the rug where it will always re-emerge and even worse the next timebut it sets an unhealthy precedent within the relationship.
This is not a gender-specific problem, but I will use the traditional gendered situation as an example. Not only does this give the woman unconscious incentive to find more reasons to be upset with the man, but it also gives the man absolutely no incentive to actually be accountable for the problems in the relationship.
So what do you end up with? A checked-out husband who feels like an ATM, and an incessantly bitter woman who feels unheard. Actually, you know, deal with the problem. Talk about what it will take to rebuild it.
Someone feels ignored or unappreciated? Talk about ways to restore those feelings of appreciation.
Why good relationships suddenly go bad
But one should never use gifts or fancy things to replace dealing with the underlying emotional issues. Gifts and trips are called luxuries for a reason, you only get to appreciate them when everything else is already good. If you use them to cover up your problems, then you will find yourself with a much bigger problem down the line.
But few people know that there are some pretty clear signals to know if a relationship is going to work or not. Put your email in the form to receive my page ebook on healthy relationships.