17 funny Instagram captions for date night with your partner - HelloGiggles
Dec 14, Because love is funny-strange, but it's also funny ha-ha. We have all heard that love is patient and love is kind. But have you ever heard how. quotes have been tagged as humor-relationships: Cassandra Clare: 'Did you just kiss me? Will inquired. tags: funny, humor-relationships · 78 likes · Like. Browse our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous Funny Relationship quotes and Funny Relationship sayings.
I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. Every Englishman abroad, until it is proved to the contrary, likes to consider himself a traveler and not a tourist. In some peculiar way, indeed, the rules were now beginning to seem quite logical. It was then I knew that I had been in India long enough. Statuettes of drunken sailors, velvet pictures of island maidens, plastic seashell lamps made in Taiwan.
What contempt the people who think up souvenirs have for other people.
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. It is the right of a traveler to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends. They have a different word for everything. A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time. There are two kinds of travel: When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money.
Then take half the clothes and twice the money. Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror. I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal! Stephen Colbert Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
Stephen Colbert Click to tweet Wise The more you know, the sadder you get. Stephen Colbert In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. Stephen Colbert I would say laughter is the best medicine.
Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche, and then applies an antibiotic cream. Stephen Colbert Happiness can be really facile — To be with my wife and children, would be the deepest joy.
Stephen Colbert I always recommend people get in trouble. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Stephen Colbert Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Stephen Colbert Cynics always say no.
80 Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings
And do you know what I like about comedy? Steve Martin I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. Steve Martin Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Steve Martin First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Steve Martin A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. I have been Blorft every day for the past seven years.
Top 30 Most funniest Sarcasm quotes
Tina Fey Click to tweet If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs. Tina Fey What turning forty means to me? I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. Tina Fey Wise Say yes.
Tina Fey It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV. Will Ferrell Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.
Will Ferrell Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired. Will Ferrell Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life. Will Ferrell Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Where did everybody go? Will Ferrell Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. Woody Allen I believe there is something out there watching us.
Woody Allen Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.